Steps To A Clumsy Start

1. Spill tea all over your notebook pages. Get frustrated when it leaves a stain, something un-poetic like a yellow livered blob, useless and an unfair reminder.

2. Say the wrong thing. Pause, bite lips, tug earlobes, because at least you’re trying, right? 

So try harder, stumble and stutter syllables until you reach a halfway point. Mentally curse yourself about 20 times and vow to never say a word again. 

Say a word again. Far too many times. Struggle to be coherent in your excitment.

3. Trip. Fall. Leap. Go backwards. Get your strap, shoelace, string, hair: tied, clamped, pulled, pushed a dozen times. Blush. Blink. At least you’re a step from where you were an hour ago.

4. Say the wrong thing. Feel like an idiot. Answer a question wrong.

5. Embrace awkward silences. Clear your throat. Hum back to life.

6. Delete texts. Erase keys, letters, cross out paragraphs, groan in frustration.

7. Repeat.

8. Leave too many things undone on your to-do-list.

9. Breathe. (Even if only in halfs, huffs, whispers).

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“She believed a great happiness awaited her somewhere, and for this reason she remained calm as the days flew by.”

          ~ [Gyula Krúdy]

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"I’m restless. Things are calling me away. My hair is being pulled by the stars again."

Anaïs Nin

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